Feathers
by ThisistheJabbawocke
Summary: Nikita Aldara Winchester, The little Winchester the half a Winchester the baby. Raised by her Uncle Bobby she was expected to be normal. She was the Glue that kept her brothers together, till Sam left and broke his promise. Thing's changed, Nikita changed. Angels showed up and one just wont go away. (Sister fic, First few chapters Pre season one. Rest are SE 5-)
1. Chapter 1

**April 1996**

My head gently rested on my arm sprawled against my desk. Mr. Abbot had put in a movie in the front of the class and told us to watch it or nap. I wasn't into the whole geography thing so instead I pulled out my book of monsters and beasts. I took notes on the ones I thought might be real and things that could help identify scratchy sound of the intercom broke through the voice of the narrator. The teacher paused the movie and all of us directing our attention up to the speaker box in the corner of the room. Even I looked up from my book to pay attention. The vice principal cleared his throat. 

"Would a miss N...Nikeyeta?, Nikitah, Neyekite Winchester come to office immediately" 

I covered my face immediately, my name wasn't that hard to say, and i hadn't done anything wrong to get called. I didn't need to uncover my face to know I was being gawked at. I was already the weird girl in class, then again when you scare you're hall buddy in kindergarten by telling her there really is monsters under her bed, people tend to label you as the made fun of and being a loner was hard at first, everyday id get picked on a teased. No one wanted to hang out with me or sit with me. But everyday, Uncle Bobby was waiting outside to pick me up, he'd take me home and he'd let me help him do research and fix cars, and on the weekend he'd take me tracking. Then at the end of every night I'd get a call from my dad and brothers who always made everything better.

Taking a deep breath I removed my hands from my face and shoved my books in my bag. I strapped the heavy bag on my shoulders slowly standing up making sure I didn't tip over. It was sad to say the bag weighed more then me, from the school books and my books. The teacher held the door open for me. I kept my eyes on the tile floor avoiding eye contact with everyone. I made my way down the abandoned hallway not looking up.

I walked into the office slowly I pulled my gaze from my feet, Uncle Bobby was signing the clipboard to excuse me from class. It was something he very rarely did unless he needed to. I scrunched my brows giving him a confused and worried look. His face didn't give anything away, he gave a nod to the secretary and led me out the door.

I followed closely behind him watching him wondering what was going on. My mind started to race wondering if something bad had happened. Did Sam or Dean get hurt? was dad hurt? I was starting to get worried. I nervously started biting on my lip looking down at the ground as we left the building. We walked a little ways before I noticed he had stopped. I looked up from his feet up to him he grinned at me and nodded a head. I gave him a suspicious look then turned my head. My eyes went wide a grin spreading across my face, leaning against the old truck was Sam and Dean.

"Sammy, Dino!" I screamed taking off towards them

I couldn't stop my legs in time I crash right into Sam my arms wrapping and gripping onto his waist tightly as I buried my head into his stomach he chuckled softly. I let go of Sam looking up at him with a big grin. As I turned to hug Dean Sam slipped my pack off my back. As I went to wrap my arms around Dean he lifted me up I wrapped them around his shoulders hugging him tightly. 

"Geez Kit what do you have in here the entire library?" Sam teased, I pulled away from Dean blushing.

"Wouldn't shock me" Bobby added

I stuck my tongue out, Dean carefully tucked my head into the truck and he placed me on the back seat. I scooted over to the far end letting Sam put my bag in the middle before climbing in the back. Dean got shot gun while uncle Bobby drove. When we reached the house I scrambled to get out of the truck. I stumbled on the gravel tripping crashing onto my knees pushing my self back up quickly. 

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Uncle Bobby called from the truck 

"I gotta show Sammy and Dean my new pictures!" 

I didn't face them as I yelled I just rushed up the porch steps holding on to the railing as I did. I could hear Sam and Dean chuckling at me. I opened the door taking a step inside I froze my mouth dropped open. A smirk pulled on my father's stubble covered face, he looked tired but that was nothing new. He opened his arms up looking down at me. I bolted for him he dropped down to his knee as I reached him. My father's leather covered arms wrapped around me pulling me to him closely. I nuzzled my head into his chest my fingers clutching tightly onto his leather jacket.

I loved my dad he meant everything to me even if I barely got to see him. He was the only real parent I had, my mother was killed by a werewolf when I was a baby. Sam and Dean were my half brother's but they never treated me like it. To all of them even Uncle Bobby I was the Baby Winchester, the fragile little princess It was why I lived with Uncle Bobby on a permanent bases. Dad wanted me to be safe, to be as normal as I could be.

"Happy Birthday Kit" my dad whispered softly in my ear

I had completely forgotten about my birthday and it was the first one since I was four that dad was actually here for. He kissed my head softly as he pulled away and stood up. We heard the door close I turned around to see Bobby walking past us with a grin while Dean closed the door and Sam dropped my bag down.

"So where's this album?" Dean quizzed

"In my room i'll go get it" I said bolting for the stairs 

I bailed on the rug as it slipped from under my feet. I caught myself on my hands and knees, jumping up all eyes were on me. I gave them a thumbs up rushing upstairs. Hurrying down the hallway I reached my room forcing the door open I rushed to my desk. I fixed my photo album making sure everything was in place before closing it. I placed my box of pictures and other various items on top of the book before picking it up. Carefully I made my way out of my open door down the hallway then down stairs. 

I placed the book on the coffee table and took the box off. I was just about to open it when Uncle Bobby's familiar weather and wrinkled hands hovered in front of my face. One hand had a glass of chocolate milk the other my pills. I groaned looked up at him with a pout. I hated my pills but I had to take one three times a day then a different pill at night as well it sucked.

"Open up" 

I gave him a pouty glare before opening my mouth. He dropped the pill in handing me the milk I guzzled half it back before making a sour face at him. Uncle Bobby just chuckled patting my head before retreating to the kitchen where my father was. Sam and Dean were sitting on the couch looking down at the table ready for me to show them the book.

**-Time Skip later that afternoon-**

I had spent two hour's showing Sam and Dean all my new photo's and my tracking pictures. I knew Dean didn't really care about them but he always pretended to. When I finished showing them my album It was declared homework time before going to the park. Legs crossed I sat on the living room floor tapping my pencil against my chin while I attempted my math homework over my brothers kung fu film.I let out a soft groan giving up I slipped my hunter notebook and my creature book out and started to write notes again. 

"Nikita Aldara Winchester!" 

I froze immediately biting down at my lip. Making the biggest puppy eyes I could muster, something I had learned from watching Sam. I looked up at Bobby who had a rather unpleased and stern look on his face his brows raised at me hands on his hips. I had been caught red handed not doing home work. He held his hand out waving his fingers in a hand it over motion I pouted closing the book itself and my notebook I handed them over.

"Now get back to real work" He said firmly

"But it's my birthday" I pouted

"That's why we're going to the park grab your stuff lets go" My dad said walking into the room

**-Time Skip at the park-**

My hands gripped tightly to the paint chipped handles of the monkey bars. I watched as my dad and my brother tossed a ball around playing catch. I played for a while but when my asthma started acting up I decided Id go hang on the jungle gym. My eyes explored the near empty park. Uncle Bobby was on the phone giving information to someone, and a couple was walking their dog. I looked up at the sky just in time to see a Kestrel dart by. My hands released there grip I dropped into the sand my eyes stuck on the bird as I followed it.

A feather came loose and drifted towards the ground I bolted for it, picking it up moments after it hit the ground. I lifted it up to my face grinning, it was one of the few feathers I didn't have in my collection. I turned around jumping slightly when I say Kylen standing behind me. Not only was he the school bully I seemed to be his favorite victim. He was three years older, towered over all the kids in the school and had a mean expression permanently planted on his face. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. 

"Well well what does the little freak have" 

He stepped closer with each word plucking the feather from my hand. I swatted my hand trying to get it back he shoved me harshly to the ground. I could feel the rock my hand landed on rip into my flesh slightly. 

"Give it back Kylen it's mine I found it" I said quietly 

"To bad it's mine now freak" He shoved me back down again and leaned over me" You know what I'll take this to" 

He yanked harshly on my necklace ripping it from around my neck. I felt my eye twitch as I saw the angel pendant hanging in the air. Dad had given me the necklace when I was three I never took it off. He said it would protect me and weather that was true or not I felt it did. When Kylen ripped it off it felt like he had ripped out apart of me. 

"Give that back" I demanded raising my voice to him for the first time ever. he glared at me 

"Make me kid" He gave me a harsh shove I flinched. 

I wanted to shout and scream for Sam and Dean. Knowing all Dean would need to was was glare at Kylen and Id get my stuff back. Then again I knew my brothers wouldn't always be there and they were always there nor could they be. I couldn't rely on them to save me every time I got in trouble. Weather the liked the idea of it or not. 

"It's mine now give it back" I said more aggressively 

He swung it in the air in front of me making hmm sound. I tried to grab it from him quickly but he moved to fast smirking he clutched it to him.

"Nah you know what I think I'll pawn it I need a new video game freak" 

With that I snapped I jabbed my middle and index finger at his throat. He gasped immediately coughing I kicked his shins as hard as I could. Kylen fell to the ground groaning in pain and coughing for air. Quickly I took my necklace and feather from him and bolted I tripped over a tree stump less than a rock throw away from him. Kylen started to get up I scrambled to my feet out of the bushes into the main area. I didn't stop or look back until I hid behind Sam who had just taken a seat at the bench.

He looked at me confused I kept my eyes locked on Kylen who emerged from the bushed rubbing his throat. Sam tense up immediately and as is Dean had sensed it his eyes shot over at Kylen as he stood on the other side of me. Kylen shot me a glare I bit my lip I was going to regret that tomorrow. I looked down at the table stealing one of the grapes from Sam's bowl. I could feel eyes on me and not just theirs but Dad and Bobby's to.

"Care to explain kit?" Dean asked what they all were thinking

Sticking a grape in my mouth slowly I looked up at them nervously. Both Dad and Dean had the exact over worried over protected stern look to them. While Sam and Bobby seemed more concerned. 

"No.. not really" I mumbled looking back down eating another grape. 

"Nik-" Sam started to say, I made the mistake of looking at him he was giving me the eyes. 

"O kay okay.." I grumbled taking a breath.

"That's Kylen he's kinda okay so majorly a jerk to like everyone… I saw a Kestrel there really pretty and I followed it and it dropped a feather so I chased it and picked it up.. but when I turned around Kylen was there.. and he was being a buttface.. stealing my feather pushing me around then he stole my necklace…" I stopped looking at everyone

Dad didn't look to happy none of them did, Sam looked even more concerned uncle Bobby shook his head not impressed. While Dean looked pissed to the ends ready to chase after Kylen and tare him a new one. 

"So.. I kinda maybe sorta jabbed him in the throat kicked his shin took my stuff back and ran…" I squeaked out looking away. 

It was silent no one said anything for several moments then uncle Bobby let out a chuckle. 

"It's not funny Bobby" My dad said bitterly. 

"C'mon John lighten up you should be proud she just stood up for her self and kicked butt " Bobby defended 

Dad dragged him off no doubt to give him a lecture about me needing to be average. Sam and Dean didn't speak they just sat there looking at me then each other. Then Dean finally spoke… 

"Why didn't you just call for me, or Sam? You shouldn't have to take care of those kind of things it what were for" Dean said his voice bitter like dads

I didn't look up, his tone hurt.. I thought he'd be proud he was the one who taught me to defend myself. Sam seemed to notice my mood changed that I was on the verge of tears. Lightly he pulled me to him giving me a soft hug I leaned into him for a moment before looking up at Dean.

" I needed to Dean… Sometimes the only one to protect me.. is me…" I mumbled to him looking him in the eyes. 

Dean's face softened and he let out a soft sigh with a nod understanding what I meant

**-Time Skip that night-**

**Bobby's P.O,V**

It was late well past midnight when I had hung up the phone. I could here the kung-fu movie still on in the main room. Getting up I picked up my beer and headed to see what was going on. Sam and especially Kit were upset, John had caught wind of some demon thing and took off leaving them with me. Dean wasn't to impressed either but he was more mad about it, probably since he swore he'd stay for Kit's birthday this time.

Reaching the main room I noticed all three kids were out cold, even Dean. I looked over them for a minute. Dean was on the right side of the couch leaning against the arm had his head propped up with one hand. his other one stretched out along the back of my old couch as he snored deeply.

Sam was the furthest to the left, he had his head looking up. it was slightly propped up Dean's arm, his mouth open snoring like always. He was tilted slightly to the right towards Dean. Squished between the two of them sleeping like an angel was little Nikita. Her small arms' crossed over her chest, her right one gripping onto Sam's shirt her left onto Deans. She was nuzzled into between the two of them perfectly. There was no denying that, that little girl was the glue holding that family together...


	2. Chapter 2

My elbows rested on my desk my hair lightly draping in front of my eyes while I twirled it between my fingers. At the front of my class was one of my classmates showing off her pageant crowns. It was friday which meant before lunch was homeroom and that meant show and tell. Something I was never particularly fond of and always tried to squirm out of.

The only good thing about homeroom was Gonzo the hamster. He was my responsibility three days of the week, Monday wednesday and friday I also got him on long weekends and spring break. As the next student got called my found my mind drifting my eyes battling to stay open. out of the corner of my eye in the front corner near the window of the room I could swear I could see a white wave of light. It look like the northern lights but only lasted a couple second sI figured it was my eyes playing tricks again.

As the fire alarm sounded I sat up straight fully alert. Mrs. Callaway was trying to calm the screaming students telling them to line up. I grabbed my bag standing up following them out the door. The hallway was already filled with smoke and other students hurrying out. I stopped in the middle of the hallway turning on my heels I raced back into the classroom. I fumbled with Gonzo's cage pulling him out I pulled my the pocket on my hoodie open and tucked him in.

I hurried back into the hallway the smoke had gotten thicker I coughed trying to fan the air around my face. I dropped down to my hands and knees and started to crawl. The door came into view and I heard a cry for help my eyes darted to the hallway then back to the door. I bit my lip then turned back down the hallway going as fast as I could on my hands and knees.

The flames fluttered from underneath door rising up creeping along the ceiling. The smoke lingered in the air, squinting my eyes I took in a hot breath of smoky air. Trapped under a lightly burning roof tile was Kylen. I rushed over to him, he was screaming in pain

"Get this thing off of me!" he screamed in agony

I could hear my heart thumping in my ears as it raced My breaths were short and painful. My eyes darted around the smoke filled hallway squining. I saw the janitor's mop and bucket on his trolly, I scrambled to my feet crouched under the cloud of smoke I grabbed the bucket pulling it over towards him. I tipped the bucket over splashing water all over the burning tile and Kylen. I flipped the hot to the touch burt tile off his leg then started pulling his arm out. The crackling sound of a beam caused my heart to race faster.

"We have to get out of here" my voice squeaked under the sound of the bell

"I can't walk my leg's broken!" Kylen yelped

My mind raced, there was no way I could drag him out not without assistance. My eyes locked on the trolley I darted over to it coughing from the smoke inhalation. I so wished I hadn't left my puffer at home today, I dragged the trolley over to Kylen then helped him onto it. As I tried to pull the trolley I felt myself getting light headed.

" you could help you know, you have to perfectly capable arms!" I snapped back

Kylen started pulling himself and the trolley forward helping my drag him . I kept my self focused trying to make it to the doorway before breaking out in a full on asthma attack. I needed the fresh air and my inhaler and fast. A loud crack thundered through the hallway looking up I froze. A beam came crashing down towards me, I couldn't look away. Then as if someone had cut it in half it split right where I was standing and fell the floor on either side of me.

It was a miracle, it was supernatural it was something I was raised to question but right now I was just thankful.

**-Bobby's P.O.V-**

I stood there forcing myself to keep a straight face for the boys. The school had caught on fire, no one was quite sure how though. All they knew is that two students were missing and one of them were Nikita. My eye's darted over to Dean he'd been screaming at the police and firefighters to get there ass's in there and get her out. Hell if he hadn't been ringing them out I sure of would of been, heck if them boy's weren't here I would of went in after her myself. I looked down at Sam I could tell the boy was trying to be strong and stay calm. He had a special connection with Kit, different from Dean's I couldn't explain it but they had it since she was born.

"Look the door!" one of the other kids called out

All eyes locked to the door that seemed to be now shaking, Dean had stopped yelling. The firefighters rushed across the front lot straight for the door.

**-Normal P.O.V-**

I rammed my sore body into the door again, It was jammed. Groaning I took a couple steps back ramming my small body into the large metal door trying to bust it open. They had made it look so easy on TV but really it was painful. Finally on the fifth time the door budged. Leaning all my weight into it the door grinding against the ground as it opened. I kept my back to it dragging the trolley to the door.

Firefighters came up beside me going right for Kylen who was grumbling in pain. Taking short sharp and painful breaths I made my way down the stairs stumbling slightly. I walked right past Dean who looked furious and worried, I walked by everyone asking questions stopping briefly at my teacher. I took Gonzo out of my pocket and handed him to her patting him slightly he let out a small squeak.

My breath became more sporadic and painful my throat feeling like it was trying to close over. I saw Uncle Bobby starting to crouch down as I neared him I swatted a hand lazily at him walking right up to Sam. He opened his mouth to speak but before he could I shoved my hand in his pocket pulling the inhaler out I put it to my lips and forced a breath of air into my lungs. After a couple more forced breaths collapsed to my but my legs spread of before falling back.

**-Time Skip 3 weeks-**

I stood nervously fidgeting with the strings of my hoodie. I was up next and the last student to introduce themselves. The school had burnt down almost completely they didn't see it getting repaired anytime soon. So all the students were split up between the remaining two schools in town.

I tried every excuse I could think of for Bobby to keep me home. Anything from I've got the flu, my asthma's acting up and it's haunted. Nothing worked he still dragged me to the school and stayed in the truck watching till I entered the school.

" Miss Winchester you're up next" The teacher called out.

I bit my lip nervously playing with my necklace as I walked to the front of the room. The teacher smiled giving me a comforting nod, I turned around my heels to face the class. Most of which were students Id never met. I took a deep breath and let it out.

"My name is Nikita, not Neyekita or anything like that. I live with my uncle Bobby and he raises me, I do have a father he travels for business with my older brothers. I like tracking, I like collecting feathers, I don't wear dresses" As I finished my introduction the bell rang for lunch I let out a sigh of relief. Stopping at my new locker I got my lunch kit and headed into the cafeteria, it was filled with students from Kindergarten to grade 8.

Eyes searching I noticed a boy about my age, his skin was slightly tan his eyes were almost as black as his shaggy hair. He sat alone in the corner of the cafeteria. He seemed to be an outcast with no friends.. He seemed to be like me. I walked over to him sitting down across from him. He looked up briefly with a confused look on his face.

"You don't want to sit here" he warned

"Yes I do" I replied opening my lunch kit

"I'm the school freak, no you don't" He repeated

"Awesome we can be freaks together" I said looking up at meeting his confused look I gave him a smile.

"Alright…"

"I'm Nikita Winchester, Grade A freakazoid"

" Ramiel Dormer"

"What do you know we both have weird names. I'm gonna call you Remy"

He let out a slight chuckle, we started to talk. Remy and I had alot in common, we were both picked on. I hated math, both our mothers had died and we were being raised by relatives. I shared my lunch of, leftover pizza, a bag of dry lucky charm marshmallows A bottle of Cola and a rather large slice of pie with Remy. In returned he shared his watermelon, Grapes, almonds and fancy looking sandwich.

When the lunch bell rang I got directions on where my next class was before giving Remy a hug and saying Id see him tomorrow. English had went by all to fast, leaving me with gym at the end of the day. In reality it was just a time for me to do homework and be a target. When the last bell rung I was relieved, I waited for the gym to clear before making my exit. I headed to my locker, on the way I could hear taunting voices. Hearing the word "Freak" I followed them.

My eyes grew wide, fear, concern worry and anger welled inside me. Two much larger boy's were beating on Remy his hand was cut as well as his lip. They taunted him as they beat him I reacted charging at them I shoved all my weight at them causing them to stumble slightly as I fell to the ground.

"What the hell is wrong with you" The small of the two snapped at me

"Leave him alone" I demanded

"Why should we?" the other quizzed

"Because I said so" I retorted

"What do you want to take his place huh looser?" The shorter one snapped

"Maybe I do" I said shoving him harshly, the idea was definitely better in my head.

The next fifteen minutes were a painful blur. I hadn't done to bad trying to protect myself and even Remy had gotten up to help. Once my arm got cut on the broken bottle the shorter one had it went down hill. I stayed hunched over leaning against the cold lockers as they mocked us before walking off. Remy scrambled his way over to me, he had a black eye a fat and cut lip and a couple more bruises and his hand was bleeding.

"You're bleeding" He said frantically

Remy gripped my cut arm with both his hands, his blood smeared with mine as he tried to stop the bleeding.

"I'll be fine I think once I clean it… I've seen my brother Dean with worse" I tried to reassure him.

"Why would you do that… Jump in to save me…" Remy quizzed

"You're my friend, were freak's squared remember?" I said in a isn't it obvious tone.

**February 2001.**

I lept off the last stair of the buss, turning slightly I gave a wave to Kylen. Ever Since I had saved him from the fire and he had gotten back to school a month later we were best friends. I helped him with his homework and he kept me safe from the bullies he had even kept Remy safe before he moved. That was two years ago and one of the hardest days I had to deal with.

My feet slipped slightly on the loose gravel driveway that led up to the house. Reaching the porch I used the railing to yank my self up the stairs, I stumbled on the wooden porch as I reached the door. My hand dove straight for the mailbox flipping the top up I shoved my hand in. All I could feel was the cold metal of the empty mail box.

I felt my heart sink a little, I shook it off forcing the door open. I dropped my bag right beside the door biting my lip I looked at uncle Bobby with hopefully eyes. Slowly looking up from his paper, he let out a soft sigh. Right then and there I knew he didn't have to say anything, I bit my lip harder now not nervously but forcing back tears. He put the paper down putting his hands on the arms of his chair as he got ready to stand up. I put my hand up stopping him closing the door behind me I picked my bag up rushing for the stairs.

Reaching my room I slammed the door shut, taking deep breaths I fought back the tears. Another week had gone by and Sam hadn't wrote, he didn't call nothing… I understood why he wouldn't of contacted Dad or Dean, they didn't want him leaving for college. I didn't understand what I had did for him to be so mad at me for him to forget me, forget his promises. He promised to always be there when I needed him and even when I didn't. Yet ever since he found out he got into harvard.. He just disappeared out of my life.. I hadn't heard from him since the early summer, even Dean had heard from him before school started.

Maybe he was ashamed.. thought I was to much like dad and Dean, since I didn't want to be normal and go to school I wanted to be with them. Maybe that's why he left.. maybe I helped push him to it just like they did… Dropping to my knees I wiped the stray tears away before dumping my school bag out. As I did the picture of him and I when we were just little fell onto the floor my eyes watering locked onto it.

"I'll show you.. I'll make you proud Sammy then you'll come home" I whispered to myself

A few stray tears slipped down my cheek as I took a breath focusing on the work in front of me...

{ Short Chapter I know I'm sorry! It was more of a filler!. there will more soon I promise!, in the mean time I'd love to hear you're thoughts!}


	3. Chapter 3

_**JUNE 2004**_

Standing behind the curtain my mind in its own world I bit down on the skin of my index knuckle on my left hand. It was a bad habit I started to pick up in grade eight just before I hit high school. A tapping sensation on my nose pulled me out of mind set, blinking rapidly I focused on Kylen. He smirked at me gently pulling my hand away from my mouth.

Kylen knew how nervous I was, He'd been there every step of the way with me the past few years. All the light night's the almost overdoses on caffeine the work overloads. He was there threw all the ups and down's of my highschool years, he helped me stay focused. His name got called he gave me a thumbs up rushing onto stage to get his ever so shocking diploma. Even I was a little shocked he had gotten it, it only took him an extra two years. Where I was graduating a year early.

I stayed focused going over my speech in my head as I paced back stage. As more students got called up, I found myself regretting more and more saying not to flash cards. It was mandatory for each student to give a brief speech as there memorial went on behind them. For me it was different I had to give mine, and a speech for the whole class. Then my name was called.

"Next we have Neyekyta Winchster"

I rolled my eyes as the Vice principal bouchard my name for the millionth time. Taking a deep breath I walked out onto the stage not daring to look at the crowd yet. I was scared I was nervous I had prayed and hoped so hard that Sam would be there but I was terrified he wouldn't. Taking my rolled up demploma I shook the vice principal's hand before he handed me the microphone.

"Thanks Mr. Omar, and it's Nikita" I corrected him he blushed faintly as the crowd chuckled

Turning out to face them I took a deep breath calming my nerves as my eyes searched the crowd. I stopped Uncle Bobby first in his vest in trucker hat with a proud grin. Beside him was My dad and Dean both looked as proud as can be Dean was giving me a thumbs up. I looked at the empty seat next to them the one that I had hand written the placement for. The one that was meant for the one person I so badly wanted to be there.. Sam. My heart sank, I held the tears back forcing a big grin on my face.

"Oh man, I can't believe it I graduated we graduated" I started the crowd chuckled.

"You know if you would of asked, what I thought I would be doing at Sixteen when I was ten or eleven I would of told you. In all honestly that I'd probably be skipping school, working on cars or on the road with my dad and brothers." I froze,

The speech I had wanted to say was one planned on Sam being here. I took a deep breath looking down I stayed for a few moments before regaining myself and looking back up. I could see the concerned look on my dad and brother's face.

"You know honestly, I had this huge speech prepared, I worked on it for weeks. Made Kylen listen to it hundreds of times. The truth is most of it was just hot air. Like most of the kids up here, I didn't graduate for myself, but unlike them I didn't do it for a parent either" My eyes darted to Sammy's seat.

"Were supposed to tell you about our life story how we got to this point. Well the entire reason that I'm up here, the reason I pushed my self so hard to be so great. To get on ever honor roll to get every award to be in all the clubs to be the number one student. To get into Brown, Yale, Stanford.." I couldn't stop my voice from fading at that word. That moment it clicked with my family all three of them looked over at Sam's empty seat.

"I did it for my brother, I risked going into a permanent coma, caffeine overdoses, depression and everything else. Just because I thought it make him proud make him happy that it make him come home. Well I was wrong, Life sucks school sucks so kiss my ass I'm done"

I flipped the bird and stormed off the stage ripping off my hat and gown. I cursed to myself storming out into the parking lot, I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. I walked over to Bobby's rust bucket of a truck and kicked the tire before hitting the frame. I rested my arms down on the hood before burying my head into them.

**-Time skip-**

The last few hour's were some of the most awkward ones of my teenage life. No one had said anything to me, Dad had patted my back and Dean looked like he was trying to talk to me but Bobby kept giving him "shut up you idjiget" looks. I laid back on the couch ignoring what ever news was on the Tv and twirling my gum around my finger.

The phone rang I sat up straight pulling the gum back into my mouth. Sitting up straight my body turned to look over the couch stretching to peek into the kitchen. I looked at uncle Bobby with curious eyes, Him dad and Dean had been having a "talk" in the kitchen that I wasn't aloud to be in on. More then likely something to do with Dad's hunting that I wasn't aloud to know about.

Uncle Bobby said something into the phone before giving Dad and Dean a one minute gesture. the wooden chair legs scraped against the tile as he walked into the living room. As he got closer I pulled myself up onto my knees stretching over the couch.

"Yeah just a sec, sounds like something Kit would know about"

With that Bobby handed me the phone. I put it up to my ear.

"This is the all and knowing Nikita how may I be of service" I joked into the phone, knowing the only person he'd let me talk to was  
Ash, Ellen or Rufus.

"Hey lil darling, what do you know about humanoid creatures that can fly only drink blood and eat the flesh?" Ellen quizzed

Her question caused me to stand up I bit the skin of my knuckle rummaging through my brain.

" Bat wing's or birds?" I asked her

"More like bat" She replied

"Honestly sounds like a Ekek, there a filipino ghoul. Hunt's mainly at night, like to pray on pregnant woman's fetus, Cry's like a baby to draw people in, Dangerous, but easy to kill if you can get them grounded its just silver whatever through the heart or a decorating depending on your preference then just a matter of burning the body." I informed her

"thanks doll!"

"Anytime, you know where to find me for any of your future strange avion super beasts" I joked

We both hung up the phone, I walked into the kitchen to hang it back up. Dean and Dad were looking at me with shocked expressions. I took a muffin off the table and took a large bite out of it. by the time I had swallowed they were still staring.

"What I needed a hobby of some sort" I shrugged walking away.

**-Time Skip-**

I watched out my bedroom window waiting for the single. Lights flicked three times in a row, I looked over my shoulder at my closed door and dark room. I pulled my jacket off my bed sliding it on I quietly and carefully opened my bedroom window. I crawled out on roof of the porch, closing my window behind me I left it open just a crack. I felt guilty sneaking out, even more so since my dad and brother were down stairs. Them being there meant I was likely to get in three times more trouble if I got caught then with uncle Bobby. I was breaking multiple rules, leaving the house without permission, at night past my curfew. I had no weapons no salt no silver no Iron and I was going on a date.

I knew if I got caught the chances of me being let out of the house again without uncle Bobby glued to me were slim to none. I climbed down the lactis making sure to stay out of the light of the windows. the gravel crunched under my shoes as I landed crouched on the ground. Avoiding the light I made my way out of the salvage yard and down the almost empty road.

At the end of the road by the corner was Kylens car. He was leaning on the hood waiting for me, I picked up my pace giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before getting into the car. Kylen and I had been "Dating" for almost a year, but we didn't tell anyone. If Bobby or Dean were to find out, well I'm pretty sure Kylen would move to russia from what they'd do to him.

Kylen and I talked as he drove, both of us belting out random song lyrics that played over the radio. Kylen pulled up to a gas station both us decided snacks were definitely needed. Kylen ran inside the store while I waited in the car. AC/DC blasted through the speakers i used my fingers as drumsticks on the dash.

I looked up briefly to see if I could see Ky coming, out of the corner of my eye I swear I caught a glimpse of the Impala in the rearview mirror. I pulled my attention straight to the mirror but nothing was there, I turned around fully in my seat. I shook it off,I was just paranoid.

A hand hit the car window and I jumped, Ky leaned down and chuckled at me, I flipped him the bird. Ky opened the door handing me the bag of junk food. Closing the door behind him I caught the ever so faint smell of matches, it was weird my nose most of been playing tricks.

**-TIME SKIP-**

I could feel the warm metal of the car hood through the back of my jacket. The air was cold, the stars were bright and sparkling. I could feel Kylen's warm large hand wrapped around mine. I placed a twizzler between my teeth and yanked hard pulling the candy away as I chewed the bit in my mouth.

I could feel a warm hand sliding up my thigh, it felt nice at first. Then as Ky's hand slipped under my shirt moving quickly up my torso I felt uncomfortable. I pulled his hand out shoving it away lightly, He did again this time with more force. I tried to push his arm away again but he held it firm.

"Ky cut it out" I demanded.

"Cmon baby"

"No" I said firmly pulling away.

"Well to bad bitch"

Kylen flipped over pinning me to the hood of the car, his eyes blacker then black. A lump formed in my throat as I froze, he was possessed. His fingers gently brushed against my face I tried to pull away the back of his hand collided with my face I let out a small whimper.

"Pathetic little whore" He hissed

I could feel him slowly tormentingly ripping the hem of my shirt. I could feel him digging his nails into my skin as he did. my hand scratched at my neck as I gripped onto my pendent my eyes watering I shut them. I was to afraid to move to fight back to do anything other then pray.

" Cute you think that's going to save you?" he whispered in my ear

I felt his hand brush against my neck as he whispered to me. I kept my eye closed, trying to make my brain work to think of something anything that could help me. Then I remembered something Bobby had told me once, Demons that the body's they possessed connect. I knew it wouldn't kill him or hold him off for long but I knew I'd have to try. I whipped my head forward my forehead colliding with Ky's nose as my leg snapped up kicking him in the balls.

He stumbled back groaning cursing at me. I rolled off the car panting I stumbled trying to run away. I felt my self fly uncontrollably straight into a large bolder. The air was knock out of my lungs as I fell into the dirt, my hand holding my body up I gasped for air. A second pair of headlights pulled up turning Kylen into more a of silhouette , I squinted my eyes.

I braced myself for the pain that was undoubtedly going to follow. As the figure got closer I closed my eyes completely and clutched onto my necklace. There was a loud shot gun blast I jumped slightly, I opened my eyes to see Ky's lifeless body collapsing onto the ground as a cloud thick black smoke expelled from him.

As the smoke dissipated another figure came through the light of the headlights. A shotgun held in one hand the man rushed towards me, as he got closer I could make out Dean. I scrambled to my feet, tears flowing freely I ran straight at him wrapping my arms around him tightly.

I buried my tear stained face into his chest, my body shaking as I whimpered into him. Dean wrapped his arms around me firmly stroking my hair with his free one. He kissed my head softly hushing me trying to calm me.

"You're okay now, you're safe I'm right here, Dino's here" He whispered softly


	4. Chapter 4

August 2005

I ran my fingers through my soapy wet dark hair, making sure to get a nice lather. Slowly I turned around giving my hair a run over with both hands so it was all slicked behind me. Eyes closed I tilted my head back letting the warm water pelt down on to my hair, I scrubbed my fingers through it make sure rinse out of the bubbles and residue.

The sound of feathers caught my attention. I stood up straight letting my wet hair cling to my back I opened my eyes. I could just make out a figure on the other side of the curtain.

"I swear to the gods, if that is you Castiel or one of your pain in the ass kin you have to the count of three to get out of my fucking bathroom before I release my inner wrath on you. Trust me it is a lot more fearsome than your fathers." I snapped

"One… T-" I didn't even finish saying two before the figure disappeared

"Fucking angels" I cursed to myself

Stepping back under the water I finished washing my hair. giving my body a rinse I turned the taps off. Reaching my hand out I searched blindly for the towel, finding one I wrapped it around my self before pulling the curtain back. I stepped out of the tub walking over to the mirror I used my arm to clear some of the fog.

wrapping another towel around my hair, I changed into my scrubs. I finished towel drying my hair pulling it up into a bun before heading out the bathroom door. Walking downstairs, I had to try hard not to laugh, Cass was standing in the middle of the living room watching the stairs. Behind him a annoyed uncle Bobby sat holding his morning paper half up as he watched Cas.

I walked right past him pretending as If I hadn't seen him and went straight to the kitchen to get a muffin and drink.

"Kit you know Cass is here right?" Bobby quizzed

"Uhuh" I answered simply before taking a bite of my muffin and returning to the main room

"Nikita, I must speak with you"

"Then speak"

I took a sip of my drink watching Cass waiting for him to speak.

"You're brother's the-

"Which brother exactly?"

"Sam, but why do-

"What ever it is you and him are on your own now if you don't mind im going to be late for work."

I stormed towards the door taking my black army jacket off the hook and my key's and walked out the door. I turned giving uncle Bobby a wave and closing the door. Turning back around I was suddenly at the Harvelle road house. My eye twitched, Ellen and Jo both gave me the same confused one eyebrow raised look.

"Son of a bitch" I yelled angrily

"Language!" Ellen scolded

"what happened?" Jo asked curiously

"I was just freaking kidnapped by Castiel" I folded my arms angrily over my chest. "Pain in my ass" I grumbled.

"Well you're brothers are out back I'll go get them" Ellen said with a laugh walking away

I groaned walking over to the bar I reached over the counter pulling a beer bottle out. Sitting down on a stool I propped one of my legs up on the stool next to me and opened the beer.

"Isn't it a bit early?" I heard Ash quiz from behind me.

" It's going to be a stressful day" I replied taking a swig

" It is way to early for you to be drinking young lady, you have spent way to much time at Bobbys" Ellen scolded me once more, she was like the mother I never had.

"It's five o'clock somewhere?" I suggested she shook her head rolling her eyes at me.

Ellen went back to cleaning up behind the bar. Me and Jo started playing cards while Ash did research and we waited for my brothers to finish there talking. I heard the door creak open, I turned my head to see Dean I smiled a bit till I saw Sam. Rolling my eyes I turned back around, Sam and I didn't talk much anymore, maybe a word here or there I couldn't be in the same room with him long enough to let him talk to me. I was still hurting from him still mad at him.

"Hey baby sis when did you get here" Dean asked

He leaned against me knocking my feet off the stool and stealing the beer from my hand takinga drink. I yanked the beer back giving him a slight glare for stealing it.

"oh about twenty minutes ago, when you're freaking angel kidnapped me" I growled angirly

"Kidnapped?" Dean quizzed

"Yeah, the jackass showed up while I was in the shower, told him to go away. Went down stairs he was there, asked what he wanted said Sam needed help, Told him he can figure it out himself went to leave for work and bam i'm the freaking roadhouse"

Ash chuckled behind me, I turned quickly shoot him a glare. I could see him biting his lip forcing back a chuckle as he tried to concentrate on the screen. I looked back at Dean, he was sharing looks with Sam who I refused to look back at. Taking another swing of my beer I played a card I could feel everyone eyes on me including Sam's

"Kit can we talk?" Sam asked

"Nope" I said coldly

"Nikita" Dean said sternly

"I said no" I replied

"alright everyone but Sam and Nikita to the pool room now" Ellen demanded

I looked up at her ready to argue, but the look she gave me was one I knew not to mess with. I grumbled looking down at the bar, everyone got up shuffling their feet as they went to the room. I knew they'd still be watching us from the glass windowed room. I didn't look up at Sam but I could feel him watching me. The stool where Dean had sat previously moved, I got up walking around the bar not wanting to be sitting next to him. Standing behind the bar, beer bottle in hand I started at the shelf of liquor. Sam let out a sigh.

"Kit.." He said softly I didn't move or make a sound "Kit.." Sam said again

I felt myself starting to break at the seam's all the emotions I had been bottling up. all the hate, the pain the guilt the blame it was ready to ooze out of me.

"Nikita" Sam voice was a little louder and firmer

"What" I whipped around snapping at him shoot glares at him

"Talk to me" Sam said more quietly, I felt my eye twitch anger startling to boil with in me. I bit my lip trying to hold my tongue, Sam opened his mouth again " C'mon Kit" He used his puppy dog eyes. I snapped.

"Talk to you? you want me to fucking talk to you Sam!, Like you fucking talked to me! hui? Huh?" I barked at him

My grip tightening on the bottle my hand shaking slightly. I could see through one of the many window to the pool room that Ellen and Jo were holding Dean back. I could tell he wanted to stop it, but they wouldn't let him

"Kita cm-" Sam started again

"NO!" I shrieked at him

The neck of the bottle in my hand broke, the lights exploded the glass shattering onto the floor and the bottles behind me blew off the wall in a explosion. Everything was dark, everything was silent the tears ran down my face.

"What the hell was that?!" Dean voice broke the silence.

I didn't reply I just ran for the stairs I didn't know what it was but it scared me. had I just done that, did all my emotions erupting cause all that… Reaching Jo's room I slammed to door shut sitting on the floor by her bed I rocked myself terrified clutching onto my pendent. There was a light knock on the door, I froze looking up as I heard it creak. Jo walked in with a tensor bandage I looked away.

"I'm not going to ask what that was, but it sounds like this whole Sam issue needs to be talked about" She said quietly.

**SAM'S P.O.V  
**  
I stood outside Jo's room my head tilted slightly to listen in better. I had come in up here to check on kit, she was bleeding I wanted to make sure she was okay. Then when I got the door I heard her crying, Jo offered to go talk to her for me so I agreed. Seeing and hearing my baby sister cry was killing me, I hated not being there not being able to make her feel better. It was something I hadn't been able to do for years, even when Dad died she went straight to Dean.. not me she always came to me first..

" He hurt me, Jo.. he promised to always be there but he wasn't… he left me alone… when he went to stanford he didn't even call me.. or write.. he never did… No matter how many times I tried to talk to him he wasn't there… I thought it was my fault he left… that he was mad at me and disappointed because I didn't want to be normal… I just wanted to be with my family.. So I thought I know I'll graduate ill be the best at everything I'll do everything I can I'll get into stanford I'll be perfect.. then he'll be proud then he'd come home.. But he didn't Joe he didn't come back for me he didn't even come to my graduation." Kita stopped talking trying to control her breathing

She was crying I could hear her voice cracking. It broke me knowing I had hurt her so much, knowing it was my fault she was like this. That Id been the thing that pushed her so far away.

" He was the pne person in the world I counted on, my rock… and he left me and it broke me.."

**NORMAL P.O.V**

I couldn't talk anymore the tears were coming down to hard my breathing was to harsh. Joe finished my bandage giving me a light hug before standing up, she knew I wanted to be alone. hearing the door close I laid down on the floor crying, rocking myself gently.

**-Time skip-**

I had spent all day l locked up in Jo's room refusing to leave. Dean had brought me pie and chocolate milk but other then that no one had come to see me since Jo. The sun had just started to set when I peeled myself out of the bed. I walked over to the window opening it I crawled out onto the roof. I laid back looking up at the star's that had begun to fill the sky.

The wind was bitter and cold, but I didn't care my mind was elsewhere. I felt broken and hollow like a piece of me was missing, it was a feeling I had pushed aside for years. I wrapped my arms around myself, just staring up at the stars. They gave me a calming feeling they always had.

"Why do you watch the stars"

I jumped at the sound of Castiel's voice breaking through my thoughts. I turned my head Castiel was looking down at me his brows slightly crunched confusion in his blue eyes. I turned on my side propping myself up with my elbow.

"I don't know they calm me" I told him simply,

Ever since I had first met Castiel there was something about him. It didn't matter what he did or how mad he made me, I always found myself forgiving him, he was easy to talk to even if he didn't understand most things. Maybe that's why I could talk to him so easily, he seemed to have a different perspective.

"You're hand.. it's cut" Castiel nodded rearing off topic

"I broke a bottle…" I admitted

"More than one, dose it hurt?" Cas cocked his head to the side a bit

" A little I guess, but I've ha-"

I didn't get to finish speaking, Cas picked up my hand placing his ontop of it. A warm bright light extrude from his hand filling my palm with a slight burning sensation but it didn't hurt. When Castiel pulled his hand away the pain was gone completely. I unwrapped the bandage and looked at my hand the cut was gone. Slowly I looked up at Cas giving him a light smile.

"Thanks Cas" I said softly he nodded

"I must go now, stay safe Nikita"

Just like that he was gone, I sat there for a while longer watching the stars. There was a knock on the door, I rolled over crawling up to the window. As I crawled inside Ellen entered the room with a set of clothes.

"Boy's thought you'd like to change and I thought maybe you're up for talking?" She quizzed softly, I scrunched my mouth to the side slightly.

Ellen sat down on the bed patting the seat beside her I walked over and sat down. I didn't look up at her I just played with my fingers not knowing where to start.

"Jo told me what you said to her, Sam herd it to.. he was outside the door when you two talked" My head flicked up I looked up at her.

" He was worried when you ran off so he came up here to check on you and fix your hand. Got nervous when he heard you crying Jo came took over and he listened in.."

"I dont want to be mad at him Ellen… It just.. it hurts so much.." tears started in my eyes again.

"Well then don't be mad at him and it won't hurt so much now won't it?. Dean told me that you and Sammy were thicker than thieves that all you needed when you were upset was Sam and everything was better"

I sniffled giving her a nod, that was true. Suddenly a book appeared on my lap I looked at Ellen she just gave me a shrug.

"Probably that Angel fella, but you get changed then get your butt downstairs young lady" Her voice went from soft and kind to motherly

"Okay.." I mumbled nodding

I quickly changed into the clothes, the pants had to be Jo's. The shirt was undoubtedly Dean's it even smells like stale beer. I looked back at the book, I knew what it was and whose it was. I had seen it thousands of times growing up, it was Uncle Bobby's journal. Sighing I walked over to the bed, I knew Cas had gave it to me for a reason. Sitting down on the mattress I picked the book up. Opening it to a random part I scanned the pages, seeing my name I stopped.  
_

_**June 1996:**_

_Nikita woke up crying again last night, that four nights in a row now. Poor thing, don't know what wrong with her she scream like she being tortured in her sleep. Spent hour's trying to calm the poor thing nothing worked, I put her down in her crib to go make her a bottle._

_She hadn't stopped screaming the entire time, I wasn't even half way down the stairs when she suddenly stopped. I was terrified, I never ran so fast up those stairs all my life. Reaching her crib I couldn't help but smile though._

_There both his small arms wrapped around her tiny body was six year old Sammy. His head nuzzled against hers, her small hands gripping onto the shirt. She cooed softly and calming into him her face nuzzled into him like she was in perfect tranquility. Sam seems to have that effect on her, she bumped her head the other day trying to walk. All Sam did was hold her hand and she stopped screaming.  
__

I stopped reading biting my lip, I dropped the book onto the bed. I rushed out the bedroom door hurrying down the stairs. I looked out into the bar it was empty except for my brothers, Ellen Jo and Ash. I assumed Ellen had closed it since the accident. They all looked at me confused and concerned. Dean had stood up on full alert as I skidded turning towards them. I ran straight past them right for Sam, I wrapped my arms around him. He froze becoming tense immediately. He didn't know how to react I don't think any of them did.

It took him a couple minutes but eventually Sam caught on, he wrapped his arms around me tightly holding me to him. 'I let tears fall stain Sam's shirt, I could hear the stools screeching against the floor. Ellen must of told everyone to get lost and let us be alone. We stayed there for a while, me crying into Sam's chest as he held me close rubbing my back softly.

"I'm sorry" I sobbed out feeling guilty, Sam pulled away slightly, looking down at me.

"No kit, I'm sorry. I should of been there for you" Sam voice cracked he pulled me to him again holding me tightly.

**{ A little bit of drama added to this chapter, hope you guy's enjoyed it! Loved to hear what you guy's thought of it, What do you see happening next?, Why did the bottles break?. love to hear you're thoughts!}**


	5. Chapter 5

Resting the pool cube up against the side of the table I turned around lifting myself up onto the ledge. I carefully laid back moving the balls out of my way. I stared up at the empty ceiling I felt like I was going nuts. Sam and Dean had left over a week ago, Sam called every 10 minutes unless he was fighting something. Jo took off hunting which put Ellen's knickers in a knot and Ash was busy keeping an eye on the supernatural for my brothers.

All there was to really do around here during the day was, Play pool, arcade games, darts, harass Ash, cleaning and eating stale pretzels. All of which I had already done for the day, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Rolling onto my stomach I pulled the phone out.

"Same as 10 minutes ago Sammy" I said blandly into the phone.

"Good, but that's not why I called" Sam replied

"Seriously, that's a first" I teased sitting up on my knees.

"There's something that's flying around and eating the flesh off humans alive and leaving them alive."

"Is that really all you're giving me to go on Sam?"

"We found a feather, don't know if it's just a normal bird or what"

" send me a pic and keep the feather I want it"

I heard Sam chuckle as he hung up the phone. I jumped off the pool table making my way to the back room, I knocked on Ash's door before barging in. He was still out cold in his bed, we had a shot competition with Ellen last night. She had one like always and I came in second which was shocking.

I opened up one of his many laptops and signed into my hotmail. It took second for the the email to arrive, I examined the pictures . My phone started ring again, Ash groaned something about getting lost. I reached back slapping his foot making him shut up.

"Got anything?" Sam asked

" Feather looks, Owl but not like anything I've ever collected, the tints of gold on in it and the fact it's a flesh eater. I'd say you'd have a Strix. There nothing too spectacular, just a ancient roman Owl. They were tamed by gypsies, killer shriek according to the books. Killin it will be easy, Id say a silver bullet and you're good, but I'd probably salt and burn as a precaution. Finding it though my come as a challenge, being an owl its a night predator. Check the woods, or maybe a gypsy camp or an old one" I informed him

"wow, did you just remember all that from the top of your head?" Sam asked amazed

"It was what I did when I wasn't studying for school.." I admitted.

"So you spent you're free time from school, doing more studying…" Sam asked

" Don't judge me!" I snapped defensively, he chuckled.

"Alright behave yourself, I'll check in soon" Sam told me.

" I will, and be safe Sammy" I told him

"We will,"

I hung my phone up, signing out of my email I closed the laptop. I walked back out into the bar and walked over to the counter to nibble on the pretzels. After a few moments I heard the door opening and unlocking. I turned around to see Ellen walking in with her hands filled with bags. She walked over to the counter and dropped them on the counter. She looked exhausted she leaned on the counter.

"I forgot the dang chips, take the car and get some would you?" Ellen asked

"Really you're going to let me go out alone?" I quizzed

"Just don't tell your brothers" She said handing me the keys.

I nodded smiling at her, I took the keys making my way out the door.

**-Time skip-**

I had paid for my single family sized bag of salt and vinegar chips, I walked out the automatic doors. I stopped at the edge of the covered area. Opening my bag of chips I walked across the parking lot, shoving my hand into the bag. I took a handful of chips shoving them into my mouth. Reaching the car I put the bag on the roof, fumbling with the keys I got them into the keyhole. Mid turn something hard hit my head sending shooting pain echoing through it, my body went limp before everything went black.

**- Time Skip-**

My ears ringing my body was sore, I could feel the cold hard ground under me. Slowly my eyes opened it was dark, one simple light hanging from the high ceiling barely lighting the area. I placed my hand on my aching head as I sat up I ran my hand down my head over the side on my neck. A warm sticky substance coated my fingers, I pulled my hand infront of my face. Squinting my eyes I saw the blood that coated my slender pale fingers.

I could feel my heart start to race, as I began panicking. I took a deep breath trying to slow it, I didn't know what had taken me. All I knew is that whatever it was drank blood, which meant my heart racing was a bad thing. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, I could see two female figures tied to chairs the skin pale there lifeless bodies drained from blood. I was next and I knew it, if i didn't get out soon it wouldn't be pretty.

I tried to push myself up onto my feet using my arms. pain ripped through me I groaned tipping on to my side, I looked down at my arm it was covered in blood. I had another bite mark on my forearm, they had already started on me. I could feel something jabbing into my side

. I reached into my pocket I could feel my cell phone, I pulled it out I pushed a button the light from the screen blinded me slightly. Squinting my eyes I adjusted them to the light, my battery was at half a bar and the single at one. I had one chance to call someone. Quickly I scrolled through the names, Castiel was the first one to come up. I clicked his names and pulled the phone up to my ear.

"Nikita?" He quizzed confused

" Cas I don't have alot of time, my phones going to die, you have to come get me" I pleaded

"what's wrong?"

"Something abducted me, I don't know what but they've already bitten me twice, Cass you have to find me"

"Where are you"

"I don't know I'm in some kind of ware-"

I was cut off my head slammed back into the brick wall, the phone dropped from my hand. I could hear a voice tsking me, a figure blurred in front of me before everything went black again.

**-Time skip-**

I had been waving in and out of consciousness for a couple days, I never saw the man's face. He'd drain blood from me but never enough to kill me just to make it hurt and keep me weak. A groan escaped my lips as consciousness overcame me filling me with pain once more. My ear's ringing still I slowly my eyes opened a light blinded me, I squinted my eyes a male figure formed in front of me. My head tilted to forcefully. A sharp pain ripped through my neck as he re punctured the holes draining me once more.

I couldn't struggle anymore or fight back. I couldn't even cure or spit at him I was to weak to do anything not even a scream escaped my lips. Just silent prayers in my mind, all I could think of is that I was going to die. I could only pray that I wouldn't end up in hell. Even though it seemed to be where Winchester's are bound to go.

My vision blurred as the man stood up, I tried to focus on him but my eyes couldn't concentrate. The man wiped his mouth stepping back from me. I wanted to cure at him but I couldn't speak. His chest puffed out his head raised up as he let out a loud ear piercing scream, his body burned from the inside out. I closed my eyes tightly avoiding the light, when everything went dark once more I opened them.

Castiel was standing there in his trademark trench coat, his head tilted to one side. Looking down at the dead body of the man. Castiel face didn't have it's normal hard emotionless look to it, he seemed to have a hint of anger in his eyes. Slowly he looked up at me, his eyes changed to concerned. Castiel took one long stride to stand in front of me, he quickly stepped around me freeing my hands from there binds.

As my hands became free my weak body tipped forwards, Cass put his hands on my upper chest lighting pushing me back into the seat. I looked up at him my eyes half open as I forced myself to stay awake.

"you found me" my voice was low harsh and scratchy as I spoke

Castiel didn't speak, he didn't seem to know what to say. I blinked slowly and when I opened my eyes I was in Cass' arm's in the Roadhouse. The bright light blinded me I turned my head into Castiel closing my eyes, I could here murmured voices but they faded before I could make any of them out.

**-Time Skip-**

The past few day's had been a blur or mostly just Sammy hovering over my bed trying frantically to ask questions the few times I regained consciousness. I remember the first time I did, Cass asked if he could heal me. According to Sam I told Cas " If you touch me with your voodoo hand's I with feed you're dick to a ferret" I didn't remember saying it, but it sounded like something I'd say when I was drunk.

I woke up gasping gripping to the bed sheets, my heart racing my mind in a panic. I had a nightmare again but I couldn't remember what it was I just remember fear and pain. Just like when I was younger, my breath hiccuped. I turned to my side pulling the metal string that was attached to the light turning it on. My eyes flickered across the nightstand my inhaler wasn't there. I could feel my throat starting to close over my lungs felt like there were collapsing. I closed my eyes tightly trying to calm myself gripping onto the sheets tighter.

A large warm hand was placed over my upper chest, I jumped my eyes opening quickly. Cass was kneeling over me with a concerned face. My eyes locked with his and out of my peripheral vision I could see a light extruding from Castiel's hand as a warmth and comfort filled my chest throat and lungs. The asthma attack had stopped, I took a long deep breath, giving Cass a partial smile.

"Thanks Cas…" I said barely above a whisper, He just nodded firmly.

"Why are you here…" I questioned realizing he must of been standing over me.

"I came to check the perimeter and make sure you were healing well, you called my name in your sleep" Castiel paused scrunching his brows

"I didn't know what to do… " I could tell Castiel was bothered that he didn't know what to do about me calling him.

"Oh.. I'm sorry Cass.. I must of thought you could of saved me from whatever it was.." I mumbled to him

"I see, well everything seems to fine I should be going now" Castiel told me

"Cass wait!" I said a little louder then I ment to, Cass turned me his head tilted to the side, his eyes narrowing at me questioning me.

"Stay for a while.. please…" I asked him softly

"If that's what you'd like" Cass walked over and stood at the bedside

I scooted over to the far end lifting the blankets up and patting beside me. Castiel took the notion to sit down, he sat there with his back turned to me. I lightly hit my forehead he was so clueless sometimes, I sat up straight putting a hand on his shoulder I lightly turned him ignoring the pain. Cass started to turn , I picked up one of his legs placing it on the bed. It clicked in for him, Cass put both his legs on the bed his back against the wall.

Scooting closer to Castiel I raised the arm that was next to me into the air. Cas held it there, I wiggled my self down leaning into him slighty. I wrapped my arms around his torso resting my head on his chest. I could feel him look down at me, I didn't need to look up to know what he looked like. He would have his head tilted to one side a confused yet curious expression on his face like a little kitten finding something new.

I could hear Castiel heart beat, it surprised me I never figured he had a beating heart. It's rhythm had a calming effect to it I snuggled into him nuzzling his chest. Cas made me feel safe he gave off a warmth of protectiveness that made everything better. I didn't put Cass' arm down, I waited for him to clue in and slowly but surely he did. His arm lowered resting onto my shoulders holding me to him carefully. It didn't take long for sleep to reclaim me, it was the most calming and peaceful sleep I had in a very long time...

**{Note: What you guy's think?, did you like it?. If this get's three reviews by the end of the night i'll upload chapter six!}**


	6. Chapter 6

**September 2005**

I leaned over the bar counter, my nail lightly scratching at the scab that was decreasing in size every week that went by. Everything was starting to get back to normal, Jo had came home after my attack which made Ellen happy. Sam and Dean refused to leave the roadhouse till they were certain I was fine. As for Ash he was just his regular self.

" Kit you better not be picking that scab again" Dean warned from across the bar

I quickly pulled my arm down picking up a pretzel as I tried to play innocent. My eyes glanced the bar, Dean was enjoying a mid day beer throwing darts. Sam was doing research while Jo was playing one of the arcade games. Ellen had run out for a grocery run. I heard the back door creak I turned my head to see Ash walking out with his laptop.

"Got a demon hit" Ash called out

Sam, Dean and Jo all dropped what they were doing and rushed over to him. I rolled my eyes shoving my mouth with pretzel. Ash explained everything to them and it took all of a 10 minute argument for them to give up and let Jo go with with them. Dean had bribed me with ice cream if I didn't say anything to Ellen I told him no promises.

**-Time skip-**

I sprawled out on the bar floor, I still had issues with my leg's from time to time. They'd get weak and not want to life me so I just laid there eating pretzels. My phone rang in my pocket, I pulled it out hovering it above my face Uncle Bobby's name appeared on the small screen I pressed the speaker phone.

"Yes?" I called out elongating the es part and saying all if with an accent.

"Just check in on how everything going" He replied

"Good good, Sam and Dino left for a hunt a couple hour's ago"

"And how are you feeling?" his voice sounded concerned

"I'm doing good, leg still has issues but other then that I'm fine"

"And you're stayin safe, indoors?"

"Yes Uncle Bobby, Sam and Dean made it very clear if I leave the house without someone, I'm grounded till I'm older then Cas"

Bobby chuckled at the comment, I didn't think it was that funny. I could never be older than Cass it was impossible.

"alright well that's all be good" He told me

"Yes sir" I called out

Bobby chuckled before we both hang up. I started up at the roof counting the cracks. Even though Ash was a good friend, when he was working on something he was the worst "Babysitter" ever. The sound of wing followed by a bottle crashing and smashing on the floor caused me to jump. I rolled around onto my stomach propping myself up on my arms.

Castiel was leaning on the bar, his trench coat covered in blood his own and unknown. He was beaten cut and bruised, he looked horrible and weak. I scrambled to my feet rushing over to him catching him before he tipped over.

"Cass what happened?!" I asked frantically trying to stand him up

"I was ambushed" he explained.

"Cmon let's get you to the bathroom, Ellen will shoot both of us if you bleed on the floor" I said calmly

Cas had his weight leaned on me while I carried him to the bathroom. My eyes kept flicking over to him, I tried to stay strong focus on just making sure he was okay. On the inside I was panicking worried and terrified, seeing Cass hurt like this made me want to curl in a ball in cry but I couldn't I had to be strong.

I helped Cas into the tub, leaning him against the wall, Carefully I peeled his trenchcoat from him. I frantically dug through the cupboards searching for the first aid kit. I turned to Cass my hands shaking, I placed the kit on the edge of the tub taking gauze and alcohol out to clean his cuts. My hand was shaking so bad the bottle shook. Cass placed his weak hand on my wrist I felt a calm roll over me, as my emotions started to overwhelm me. I tried to focus and clear my mind a tear slipped down my cheek. Cass reached his other hand up gently wiping the tear away.

"Do no cry Nikita, I will be fine I need you to get the piece of blade lodged in my torso out." Cas voice was soft

I took a deep breath nodding, I lifted up Cass's shirt. I could see the hole with the small hunk of silver stabbing into it, whatever it was. it was preventing Castiel from his full strength and being able to heal himself. I poured some of the alcohol onto his wound. Castiel gasped taking in a breath trying hard not to show the pain he was in. I took the tweezers from the first aid kit, biting my lip I lowered them to the metal shard. I took a deep breath gripping it I carefully pulled it out I could feel Cas' body get tense. I dropped the tweezers and the shard into the sink, covering up the bleeding wound.

Putting pressure on it Cas didn't flinch, he didn't make a sound and he hadn't healed himself. I looked up his head lifted up his eyes shut. I couldn't stay calm anymore I couldn't control my self. Tears flooded through my eyes, I screamed at the top of my lungs for Ash and crawled into the tub next to him. Holding the cloth onto his wound crying into his blood stained shirt. Grumbling for him to wake up and be okay.

It felt like someone had shoved a dull jagged knife into my heart and was twisting it. The only time I could remember feeling so much pain was finding out Dean was dead. It hurt I gripped onto to Cass whimpering, the door burst open and Ash came in frantically.

**-Time Skip-**

Hour's had passed and Castiel still hadn't woken up. Ash had tried everything he could even drenching the two of us with ice water. When Ellen got home her and Ash moved Castiel and I upstairs to my room, I refused to leave his side. I just held tightly onto his hand tears falling freely, Ellen had bandaged him up and called my brother's. They said they'd finished up and be right there.

I watched over Cass holding his hand mumbling and praying for him to wake up. His body was slowly healing itself, Ellen pointed it out as a good thing. She said his comma state might be a sort of defensive mechanisms for his body to heal itself and he'd wake up better than new. I could only hope she was right like always.

Night had came, Sam, Dean and Jo said they'd be there by morning. Ellen asked me to get some rest but I refused it, I just started watery eyed down at Castiel. I used my free hand to wipe the tears from my eyes, I shifted my self on the bed. Carefully I laid my head on Castiel chest hold his hand firmly with one hand my other resting on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat faintly.

"C'mon Cass.. you gotta wake up…" I mumbled to him

"You're supposed to watch over me remember…" I closed my eyes tightly holding back the tears as memories came back.

**-Flash back-**

_I could feel my heart ready to leap from my chest, my legs were sore ready to collapse from under me. I could feel my throat closing off, my mind filled with fear. I could hear the aggressive growling of the mix breed dog that had been chasing me. I turned sharply down and alley my feet slipping from under me I scratched my knees on the ground. I stumbled getting back to my feet running down the dark alley._

_I came head on with a wall, froze panic taking over me. I whipped around to face the mencing animal, it had started chasing me a block away from work. I hadn't done anything to provoke it, normally animals loved me, but this dog was different it was sick from rabies._

_Slowly I backed into the wall shaking in fear, the dog lowered his head eyes narrowed at me. it growled snarling it's teeth at me, I felt the brick wall against my back. The palm of my hands touched the rough servies as I pressed myself back into it. The sound of wings fluttering surrounded me, suddenly Castiel was standing in front of me. blocking me from the dog, it yelped skidding off terrified._

_Castiel turned to me, I was gasping for air. He strode over to me with two steps, placing his hand on my throat gently there was a bright light and warmth. I could breathe normally again I took deep breaths letting my body relax._

_"Thanks" I mumbled to him_

_"It is my job" Cas replied in his robotic tone_

_"Excuse me?" I question him_

_"It is my job to watch over you" _

_"Says who?" I quizzed_

_"God"_

**-End of flashback-**

Tears blurred my vision, I sniffled slightly my hand lightly grabbing at Cas's blood stained shirt. I was hurt, upset and mad, why couldn't he just wake up. He was a freaking angel he wasn't supposed to get hurt. I slammed my hand down onto his chest lightly.

"Son of a bitch wake up!" my voice cracked as I called out to him

I beat my hand into his chest a little harder, whimpering as I did so. I collapsed again burying my face into his side gently as the tears poured from me again. Castiel's hand gently tightened around mine, he mumbled something softly. my heart jumped I sat up straight. My hand still holding onto his as he kept his tightened around me, his eyes still shut. I bit my lip nervously hoping praying for him to be okay.

The door creaked slightly, I turned my head quickly. Sam poked his head in giving me a sympathetic smile he made his way in. I already knew Ellen would of caught him and Dean up to date, Sam walked over to me. Gently he placed a hand on my shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze as he kissed my head taking a seat next to the bed.

"He's gonna be fine Kit" Sam said trying to reassure me

" I know.. I just want him to wake up.." I whispered to him

"Any change?" Dean's voice caught our attention

Sam and I both looked at the door, Dean was making his way in with two beers and bowl of icecream.

"He squeezed my hand just before Sam got here" I replied

"That's a good sign" Sam said still trying to keep my hopes up

"He'll be fine, don't you worry Kit. He know's if he isn't I'll kick his ass for making you worry" Dean teased,

I couldn't help but let a little smile pull on my lips. My brothers being here gave me a sense of security, they made the pain feel not so bad. Dean sat on the edge of the bed handing Sam a beer and a me the ice cream. I wedged the ice cream between Castiel and I using my free hand to take a scoop. I could feel Sam and Dean look at me I looked up they both raised their brows.

"what" I whispered harshly in a defensive tone

"You know you can let go of his hand right?" Sam smirked

"No I can't, he needs to know I'm still here.. What if I let go and something happens.."

"Kit he'll be fine" Dean tried to reassure me.

I gave a little glare sighing, slowly I started to pull my hand away from Castiels. Letting him go I started to pick up my ice cream. I hadn't even gotten a scoop to my lips when Cas started to groan his face scrunching in pain. His hand squeezing opened and closed as if searching for something. I could see Sam and Dean share a look of shock and confusion, I put my bowl down quickly grasping onto Castiel's hand and holding it.

"I'm right here Cas, It's okay I'm here don't worry I won't let go again" I whispered trying to calm him

I stroked his face softly with my other hand, he started to calm down as soon as my hand touched his. When Castiel had become calm once more I looked up at my brothers with a raised brow.

"You were saying?" I quizzed annoyed

"I'll shut up" Dean announced I nodded.

Sam and Dean stayed with me the rest of the night, Sam was the first one to pass out. Despite his height the boy could sleep anywhere, Dean followed not to long after. I stayed there watching over Castiel making sure nothing happened to him.

**-Time Skip-**

Two day's had passed, two days I felt like I was breaking from the inside out. Two day's filled of Ellen and my brother nagging me to sleep and eat and me refusing. Castiel was fully healed now and still hadn't woken up, It was night three my body was struggling to stay awake.

I gently brushed Castiel's hair out of his eyes looking down at him. I just wanted him to wake up for everything to go back to normal. I wanted Cas to ask stupid question, show up at inappropriate times. For Dean to scold me for breaking a rule for Ellen to nag at me for not picking something up. I wanted everyone to be what was considered happy in our life, not miserable and worried. It felt like there was a dense fog hovering over all of us.

I used the wall to prop myself up, I was weak my mind just wanted me to sleep. I was exhausted emotionally and physically, I was to tired to even cry anymore. I felt myself slowly sliding down I couldn't fight sleep much longer I knew I couldn't, everyone did, it's probably why they had stop nagging me about it. I rested my head against Castiel's my lips hovering over his ear.

"Cas, I know you're in there I know you can hear me" I whispered softly "I need you to wake up now, please…"

I felt myself slowly starting to lose consciousness as I leaned into Castiel's warm body. I tried to fight it keeping my eyes forced open.

"You need to come back Castiel, for me.. please follow my voice find me.. come back" I pleaded softly in his ear.

I let my head rest against the pillow still lightly squeezing Cas'. My eyes became heavy as they slowly started to close. I felt Cas start to stir, his hand squeezed mine. I didn't move not till I heard him grumble something, I peeled my eyes open forcefully. Cass was still moving slightly.

" Cas?" I asked barely above a whisper my voice full of hope.

Castiel's head turned slowly as I forced my eyes open. Slowly his eyes opened his hand squeezed mine gently. His head dropped lightly resting on mine. His other hand slid between up between us gently cupping the side of my face. Castiel's hand was warm and soft against my skin, his thumb brushed my cheek softly. I tried to so hard to force my eyes to stay open but slowly they started to close again.

"I found you" Castiel whispered...

{Hope you guy's enjoyed it!, did it pull your heartstrings?. don't forget to reveiw!, chapter seven is waitin the ranks!}


	7. Chapter 7

**November 2005**

My eye twitched as I started at my bright blue hair, my skin had drops stained on it. I pulled the towel tighter around my body and turned to the door opening it harshly. It slammed against the motel room door, Dean who was practically passed out on the bed jumped from the noise. Sam looked up from his laptop wide eyed. Dean burst out laughing at my appearance, I could tell Sam was holding back his smirk.

"what the hell happened?" he said chuckling slightly.

"Someone thought it be freaking hilarious to put a blue fucking die pack in the god damn shower" I cursed angrily pulling at my blue hair

Dean couldn't stop laughing I picked put a pillow of the bed closest to me and threw it at him. He suppressed his laughter briefly and looked at me.

"You look like a freaking smurf" Dean broke out laugh again at his comment, I wanted to strangle him

"Who would do that?" Sam said still forcing his laughter in.

"Gabrielle" I hissed angrily.

He'd been showering up more and more over the past month, mostly just to prank and harass me and occasionally through my brothers into a alternate world. Gabe had put me in one once but Castiel had gone scary angel on him and threatened if he ever did it again it wouldn't be pretty. Gabe played it cool but he actually looked a little afraid of his little brother for a minute.

"Guilty as charged" Gabe's sly voice said from the corner of the room

I turned on my heels glaring at him, he stood leaning on the wall with a smirk. He had a sucker shoved in his mouth as he twirled it with his mouth. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down.

"fix it" I hissed pointing at my head.

"I'm sorry I don't think anyone could fix that melon of yours" he taunted

My eyes started twitching again, I had no patients. Having a shower or a bth was my only down time I had in the past few months. It was the only place, Castiel and my brother's weren't aloud to bug me. It was my own little sanctuary of peace and he had ruined it and my hair. I took a large stride towards Gabriel closing the gap slightly.

"Gabriel, put my hair back to its normal color now. I will not warn you again." I said through gritted teeth

"I think I'll leave it smurfette" he teased, Dean started laughing again.

I stormed up to Gabrielle shoving him harshly into the wall.

"Fix my fucking hair right now you son of a bitch" I screamed at him.

He smirked at me raising a brow.

"You're hot when you're mad small fry" he winked

"You fucking feathery assed son of bitch, I'm not playing your games fix my hair" I snapped

My fist collided with his chin, pain shot through my hand. I let out an frustrate scream of pain and anger. As I screamed everything shook, a beer bottle fell from the table shattering then everything stopped. We all shared looked I had the same feeling as when I broke the bottles. I sunk down quickling I ran into the bathroom change in my clothes as fast as I could. When I came back out Gabe was still standing there, sharing the same shocked and confused look as my brothers. All eyes were on me, I bolted out the front door of the motel before anyone could say anything.

I raced down the sidewalk stopping at the staircase I turned quickly sitting down at the edge of the stairs. I took long deep breaths my heart racing my mind panicking. I was messed up I could feel it I knew it, I'd never tell Sam and Dean but thing's like that kept happening.. When I'd lose my cool things would break or fall, and when Cass was in is coma state, then entire time I cried it would rain and just as I stopped it would stop.

I leaned against the cold wall rocking myself slightly trying not to panic. The sound of wings weren't enough to make me move, I knew it would be Castiel or Gabriel. A green sucker was held out in front of me, I knew it was Gabrielle. I took the sucker and put it in my mouth sitting up straight I looked up at him.

He snapped his fingers, tingling sensation ran over my head. I pulled my hair into view, it changed to it's normal color. I gave him a slight thank you nod and looked down at the ground. We both stood in silence for a few moments before he came and sat next to me.

"I really am fucked up.." I mumbled to him

"I'd say" he joked trying to lighten the mood, I elbowed him.

"That wasn't the first time it's happened.." I admitted

"I heard about your bar incident" he replied

"Not just then either.. when I lose my cool like that.. thing's happen and when I cry a lot it rains.." It felt weird saying it out loud but I needed to say it.

"Now that's interesting"

I looked up at Gabe he was looking down at me twirling his sucker in his mouth.

"Dose Cassie know this?" He quizzed

"No.. I don't think he'd handle it so well" I said truthfully

"That I agree on, I'll do some digging, see If I can't figure out what's wrong with that head of your" he teased messing my hair up

I tried swatting at his hands but he was gone before I could. I rolled my eyes, that was starting to get annoying, I needed to put bells or something on him and Cass. I stayed outside a little longer, hoping it would give my brothers time to calm down. I walked back into the motel, everything was back to normal. Dean was using the magic fingers bed, if he could marry it and pie he would. Sam was back doing research he looked up at me as I walked in.

"I see your hair's back to normal, well sort of" Sam told me

I gave him a curious look for a minute before rushing into the bathroom to look in the mirror. My eyes went wide, half hidden in my hair on the right side was a blue streak. I rolled my eyes I should of known he wouldn't turn my hair completely back to normal. I shrugged it off, at least I wasn't a smurf anymore. I walked back into the main room collapsing back on the bed Sam and I shared. My legs hanging off the edge of the bed I stared up at the bumpy ceiling. There was a firm knock on the door, I lifted my head up looking at Sam

"So not" I said a the same time Dean said he wasn't getting up.

"You two are so much alike sometimes, it's weird" Sam noted

I rolled my eyes at him, he opened the door the smell of pizza wafted in. I sat straight up rushing for the door, as Sam paid a I took the stack of boxes and walked over to the table. I opened each box of pizza til I found mine, claiming my box I walked to the corner of the room and sat down on the floor. Dean looked at me and chuckled shaking his head.

"Well that still hasn't changed" He told Sam nodding at me, Sam looked over and chuckled.

"I still don't trust you two fat asses not to eat my damn pizza"

"That's true" Sam started eating a slice of his I nodded picking up a piece of my pizza and shoving it into my mouth happily.

**-Time Skip-**

I awoke sitting straight up in the bed, gasping for air. I reached for my inhaler on the nightstand beside me. Sam stirred next to me. I slid my legs off the edge of the bed and got up walking into the bathroom I shut the door while I turned the light on. I used my inhaler to force air into my lungs. My hands on either side of the sink I leaned over take deep breaths. I had another nightmare, I still couldn't remember what happened. Id wake up after every night gasping for air and burning sensation on my back, I hated it.

As I stayed hunched over the sink keeping my self calm. I heard the sound of wings behind me I didn't move.

"Nice tattoo" Gabrielle said smoothly

My head shot up, eyes wide I looked at him in the reflection of the mirror. He had his head slightly turned to one side, a smirk on his lip as he examined the bare skin on my upper back and shoulder blades that were covered by my camisole. I quickly whipped around moving the hair off my back. A lump formed in my throat, I had a tattoo round 8 feathers on either shoulder blade. The looked like they were literally poking out of my skin, reached my hand around trying to touch them. Panic started to fill me, I looked at Gabrielle who had an eyebrow raised.

"Not funny, remove it now" my voice shaking

"I didn't do it" He stated defensively

I started to bite on my knuckle skin nervously. I was afraid he would say that, I looked up at him afraid and nervous.

"What is happening to me…" I asked him softly

"Well I did a little digging and that just made the rumour a reality" He said his voice nervous and shaky.

"And…" I asked my voice shaking my eyebrows scrunched nervous hoping for something good.

"Well you know how you're brother has Demon blood in him?" Gabe asked tiptoeing around the answer.

"What about it?" I asked him even more nervously.

" Well turns out, you have angel blood"

The world felt like it stopped at that second, my stomach turned I felt sick instantly. My legs gave out under me I held onto the sink, my heart racing. I looked up at him terrified, for once Gabrielle looked like he didn't have anything to say. I started to shaking my head, repetitively.

"No.. no no no.." I mumbled more so to myself.

Gabriel crouch down beside me, he put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him our eyes met, mine full of fear and worry. His were concerned but calm. He gently rubbed his thumb against my shoulder in a calming fashion.

"Look I know it's scary, but I'm sure in the long run it won't be so bad." He attempted to make me feel better but it didn't work

My body felt numb, but my mind was racing I had thousands of questions but only one came out.

"What if I hurt someone.." my voice squeaked

Gabe pondered that question for a minute before standing up. He gently brought me up to my feet.

"That is a good point, were going to need to keep you somewhere you can be calm while I try and figure out how this whole ordeal happened"

As he spoke the room changed from a dingy motel bathroom, to a extravagant bedroom. I looked around the room then back at Gabrielle with a quizzical look.

"Uhm…" I tried to speak but I didn't know what to say.

"Welcome to my hideout, I figured it's the safest place for you. No Demons, No brothers, and No angels other than ourselves" He informed me, I cringed when he said ourselves.

"Can we not define me as that.. please.." I asked

"Very well" He said with a nod " I'll show you around"

"Yeah alright…" I replied

"well this will be your room, clothes in the closet bathrooms there" He pointed them out.

He snapped his fingers and we changed rooms, we were now in what I assumed was the living room. I looked up at him crossing my arms over my chest.

"we couldn't walk because?" I asked

"I'm an angel?" he asked more than stated. I rolled my eyes at him.

"So this is the tv room, every channel and movie you could ask for, kitchen through there. Libraries upstairs pools down the hall im sure you can figure the rest out"

I turned to look at him and say something but he was gone. I rolled my eyes shaking my head.

"Freakin angels" I cursed annoyed.

I walked over to the large sectional couch. I sat down on the far end in the corner and pulled my feet up, I rested back against the couch and turned the TV on. It didn't take long for me to decide id watch ghost ship, it was one the only horror movies I could watch. 


	8. Chapter 8

**December 2005**

I leaned back against the white swinging door that separated the kitchen and the dining room. My hands gripped onto my tray of Ice Cream, chips and a punch bowl of candy. walking into the dining room I turned around letting the door close behind me as It did, a blue ball came whipping at me. I ducked quickly turning around to look at the door, there was a blotch of blue paint where it had hit.

"No fair Gabe, It's food time!" I complained

"There ain't no food for the divine doll" His voice whispered in my ear causing me to jump

As I turned towards to him the tray disappeared from my hands. He smirked with a sucker in his mouth like usual.

"Say's the one with a sucker in his mouth 24/7" I added snapping my fingers a bucket of Purple paint poured onto his head

"Oh it is on" He smirked through his paint covered face.

"Like donkey kong" I snapped my fingers apperating myself into the library.

Our homespun version of what we called "Angel paintball" was Gabe's interactive way of training my powers. It seemed to be working, over the past month I became stronger and more controlled. Gabe has told my brothers and eve Castiel even though I begged him not to about my angel infected blood. None seemed pleased about it from his description and I'm sure the fact he wouldn't tell them where I was made it worse. But once a week every week he'd drop a letter off for me and the roadhouse for everyone. Over the past month Gabe and I had gotten really close. He was like another pesky older brother.

I walked to the door of the library, I carefully opened the door sticking my head out. I could hear footsteps echoing down the hall, I smirked. I was going to get him and get him good, concentrating I snapped my fingers making balloons full of purple paint and feather appear attached to the roof held up by a net. A tripping mechanism set up along the floor so he'd set it off. I closed the door again putting my ear up I listened for the footsteps.

They echoed down the hall getting louder as they went on. I heard the faint snap followed by the splattering sound of the balloons, I opened the door laughing then froze. There standing in the mess of purple paint, broken balloons and feathers himself covered with them was Castiel.

"I found you" he said his voice with hope

"You found me" I repeated in slight shock

"Come with my quickly, we need to leave now" He said holding his hand out

I stood for a couple moments not sure how to react I took a step forward. Reaching my hand out slowly to take his, I knew I could handle myself but I had fun with Gabe. He had made me forget about all the stress and worries. My hand slightly hovered over Castiels.

"You're brothers and I have found a way to turn you normal again, to fix you"

With that I pulled my hand away,a slight sting in my heart from the words. It had hurt I wasn't "Normal" to them that I needed to be fixed like I was broken.

"Fix me?" my voice trembled.

Castiel looked at me confused he didn't seem to understand why it had hurt me. I bit my lip forcing the tears back, Gabe appeared beside us looking back and forth cautiously.

"What's going on, what did you say to her" Gabe snapped at his younger brother

"That I need to be fixed that I'm not normal anymore" I snapped, the house started to rumble as anger boiled in me.

I closed my eyes hands balling into fists, I needed to get out of there away from Castiel and Gabe right then. A warm breeze surrounded me whipping my hair around my face. I took a deep breath of warm air hinted with coconut, I opened my eyes I was in a grass field.

The sun was shining bright the breeze was warm and calming the palm tree's in the distances swayed lightly. I laid dropped to my knees before falling onto my back. I looked up at the blue sky the dull greenish brown grass surrounding and slightly engulfing me, I let the tears slip out. After a while I rolled on to my side laying there crying till the sun started to set.

I layed there till dusk turned to night, the sky was dark and the stars were shining. I wiped the tears off my damp cheeks as I sat up, I knew I couldn't lay here forever. I didn't know where to go, I couldn't go back to Gabrielle's I wasn't ready to see him or Castiel again. If I went to my brothers or uncle Bobby's both them would find me in a flash. There was only one place I could go that I could feel safe, even if there was still a chance id be found.

Standing up I brushed the grass off me and concentrated closing my eyes. I snapped my fingers, I knew I didn't have to but it was a habit I picked up from Gabrielle. Opening my eyes I was at the roadhouse, It was dark everyone was in bed. The only light came from behind the bar. I didn't feel like apperating upstairs, quietly I walked upstairs down the hall to the room that had been declared mine. It was how I left it months ago, minus the fact the bedding had been changed.

I walked over to the bed, pulling my over shirt off I tossed it on the floor. I crawled into the bed pulling the covers up over me, I laid there staring at the wall for a few hours before I finally drifted off to sleep.

**-Time Skip-**

The sun peeked through the blind shining right in my eyes. I groaned softly rolling over hugging my pillow to me, my stomach growled. I made a slight whimper moan, I had gotten so used to Gabe making me bacon and waffled in the morning. I had relied on him and my powers more than I should of in the past month.

I pulled the covers off me sliding my legs off the bed my feet touched the cold floor, I scrunched my nose unhappily. I pushed myself up off the bed slowly making my way out of the room. Downstairs I could faintly hear the sounds of glasses clinking together, Ellen or Jo must of been cleaning. I skipped down the stairs, Ellen was cleaning the bar while Jo was filling the kegs. They both looked up at me confused and shocked, I waved walking towards the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen I started pulling out everything I needed to cook bacon. I could take the complete easy way and just poof my self a cooked plate. Instead I poofed the raw bacon and waffle mix and started making them. I heard the kitchen door open as I started pouring the waffle batter into the waffle pan. I looked over to see Ellen and Jo with a confused look on there face.

"Bacon and waffles?" I asked them pointing the cooking food

"How did you get here?" Ellen quizzed

"When did you get here?" Jo added

"Well technically I flew.. and late last night" I said simply stirring the bacon I turned back to them " could we you know.. keep this under wraps… I don't really want my brothers, Cass or Gabe to know im here.." I admitted

"Fine but you have explaining to do missy" Ellen said in a motherly tone, I nodded

"Jo wanna help?" I quizzed holding up the battered covered ladle

"Sure" Jo said walking over to me helping cook breakfast.

Jo and I had made breakfast, her Ellen and I sat down at the table and started to talk.I had told Ellen and Jo everything that had happened in the past month all the way up until Castiel showing up. Ellen said he was lucky she wasn't there because she'd find a way to hurt him then my brothers. Both her and Jo spent and hour telling me there was nothing wrong with me and that they were crazy to think I needed to be "Fixed". When Ash came around him and Jo kept asking me to demonstrate what I could do, So I dropped a water balloon on Ash's head.

**-Time skip 3 weeks later-**

I leaned against the stable, using my elbows to steady me. I squinted my eyes holding onto my wrist with one hand aiming ht quarter at the cup. I flicked my writing shooting the quarter at the cup it hit the rim and skidded off. I looked up at Jo she didn't even have a buzz going yet. I was doing horribly at the drinking game, I sat up straight picking up the shot she poured me and drank it quickly

"Boo I stink at this" I grumbled

"yes you do, I think it's time you to called a quits before were dragging your but upstairs kit" Ellen said intervening.

"Bah humbug" I pouted, Jo giggled Ellen just shook her head.

Ellen walk away, I looked up at Jo squinting at her. She raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I want pretzels"

I pushed the chair out standing up, the room was spinning. I knew I had more than 6 too many shots, turning around I stumbled towards the bar. I could hear Jo laughing at me as I pushed my ass out holding my arms in front of me wobbling and trying to keep from tipping over. I collapsed slightly into the bar, I leaned my weight into it using it to keep my self up. Reaching across the bar I pulled the bowl of pretzels to me. Bowl in hand I tried to stand up and walk back to the table I took three steps before falling on my ass.

Jo started laughing harder, even Elle laughed behind me. I pouted on the floor then remembered I still had pretzels and smiled I took a handful and shoved it into my mouth. I heard the main doors opened followed by Dean's voice, I turned to see him and Sam walking into the Roadhouse. My emotions began to swirl around like a tornado inside me, I was hurt, angry upset and so much more.

"Booo" I yelled at them throwing pretzels in their directions, they shared a confused look then looked at Ellen.

"Is she drunk?" Sam asked

"Well i'd say so, she's had 14 shots" Jo informed him

I glared at them as they walked over to sit next to Jo. I stayed on the floor glaring at the back of there heads, both them would glance back at me.

"Oh leave them alone and eat your pretzels" Ellen said dropping a bag of them in front of me

"Yummy" I squealed shoving my hand into the bag.

After a while I started to tip backwards falling onto my back with a thud. I knew someone was going to ask if I was okay so I gave a thumbs up looking at the roof. I laid there forcing pretzels into my mouth one by one, I heard a phone ring I mimicked the sound. I could here Jo giggling at me. The sound of wings didn't register with me until I saw Castiels figure standing over me, his eyebrows scrunched. I was torn between wanting to yell and hit him and hugging him and snuggling him. But my drunken haze seemed to have other idea's.

"You're pretty when I'm drunk" I sang out

Castiel looked at me even more confused as before, I sat up swaying my head.

"You're pretty when I'm drunk" I sang even louder.

I could see the other watching over me with the same expression as Castiel. I turned to the jukebox snapping my fingers Bloodhound gang "you're pretty when I'm drunk started playing" I sang along with it. Dean was trying hard not to laugh Castiel stood behind me but I could feel his eyes on me. Suddenly a wave of sickness overcame me, I scrambled onto my feet I tipped forward catching myself with my hands. I raced towards the public bathroom going straight for the toilet vomiting.

Flushing the toilet I leaned against the side of the stall groaning slightly. I liked drinking, I wasn't fond of the aftermath after puking a couple more times I finally got to my feet. My head pounding I walked from the bathroom, Castiel had gone again both Sam and Dean had hand marks on there face. I could only assume someone brought up the fixing me comments. I stumbled my way to the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked

"My bed" I grumbled

I made it up one stair before tipping forward and crawling on all fours up the rest of them. making it to my bed I fell face first drifting of to sleep with in seconds.

**-Time skip-**

Awaking in the morning my head was pounding I felt horrible. Slowly I sat up grumbling to myself rubbing my head gently I slowly stood up. I slowly made my way out of the room and down the stairs, there was pain killer and cup of water on the bar. I let out a little chuckle Ellen was always watching out for me. I walked over to the bar sitting out the counter I popped the pills in my mouth drinking the water. I noticed the calendar on the back wall it was christmas eve my eyes went wide. I looked around the bar it was far from the christmas spirit.

I spun the chair around completely, I took deep breaths before closing my eyes. Concentrating I pictured how the bar would look in the christmas spirit. Snapping my fingers I opened my eyes a smile pulled on to my lips. Lights and garland hung around the room. A tree wa waiting to be decorated and placed in the corner there was even mistletoe hanging from the door of the pool room.

My head started to spin as I felt weak and lightheaded, I let out a soft groan spinning back around. I leaned over onto the bar top regretting on using my powers with a hangover. I shivered slightly Ellen left the downstairs heat off at night, something warm draped over me. I figured it was Ellen or possibly Sam doing so to warm me up.

"You shouldn't use your abilities in such a weakened state" Castiel said from behind me

I jolted slightly from the shock of hearing his voice, I lifted my head up. Turning back to look at him he was standing behind me a blank expression in a white button up, tie and his khaki pants. His trenchcoat was missing I looked at my shoulder,it was what he was using to warm me up. I turned back around putting head back on the bar top to groggy to reply to him.

The smell of fresh coffee wafted through my knows, my head perked up. turning to the side there was a fresh cup of coffee beside me. I scooted over taking the hot cup into my head and sipping the warm drink.

"Thanks…" I mumbled not looking back at him

"It is ill advised of you to drink that much-" Castiel started to lecture

"shhh" I grumbled at him

It was silent again, I knew Castiel was still standing behind me. Waiting for me to be ready to function more properly, the more I sipped the more I started to sit up. After I had finished the cup of coffee I was feeling better and a bit more sober. I turned around to face Castiel he hadn't moved.

"make me waffles?" I asked hopefully

"Waffles?" he asked confused

"You know… like pancakes but thicker with squares…" I tried to explain it but he didn't understand me i sighed

"I miss Gabe" I grumbled pouting, as I started to look down I saw Castiel's eyes get hard with what seemed to be anger and hurt.

The smell off coffee, bacon and waffles surrounded me, my stomach grumbled. I bell dinged behind me as the sound of plate sliding across the bar came behind me.

"Order up" I heard Gabe's familiar voice say

I spun in the chair eyes wide a smile on my face. Gabe had a whole diner get up on as he placed a fresh coffee beside the plate of waffles in bacon. In his mouth he still had his iconic sucker. I squealed happily causing him to chuckle, I didn't say anything I just started stuffing my face enjoying the breakfast he had prepared for me. I could feel tension rising in the room from the brothers but I pushed passed it focusing on my food. As I sipped the last of my coffee my mouth half full of waffle I held it out to Gabe.

"More coffee doll?" he asked using the pet name he declared for me

He chuckled snapping his fingers the coffee refilled, Gabe pulled me forward kissing my head. It was something he had done multiple times when I lived with him. It was something calming he'd do, just like Sam would do. It was the line for Castiel though and Gabe had pushed it. The ground rumbled the walls shaking thundered roared, Gabe smirked. As he disappeared from in front of me I turned around.

Him and Castiel were standing face to face, Castiel looking like he was ready to killing and Gabe like he was having the best time of his life. There wing's shadowed the walls, Gabriel's three times the size of Castiels. I jumped at the sound of the thunder, I became nervous and scared.

The two of them stared at each other before they started talking in an ancient language of their own. Sam, Dean, Ellen and Jo all came racing down stairs stopping at them, looking from Gabe and Castiel to the petrified looking me. Gabrielle raised his hand as Castiel did the same. They were ready to strike each other, hurt each other. It triggered something inside me I leapt up from my seat.

" No!" I screamed, forcing my arms apart.

Both angels went flying to either side of the room hitting the walls with large cracking thuds. Everything was silent as I stood there my eyes still filled with worry and panic my arms outstretched. I could see my brothers staring at me with a look of shock, Ellen and Jo looking impressed.

"No more fighting, no more pain or blood shed. There's been to much of that already, I won't let it happen not because of me"

I took a calming breath lowering my hands letting my binds on Gabe and Castiel go. I bit my lip trying to force back the tear that were threatening my eyes. It was christmas and everyone was fighting again like every year. I bolted out the front door tripping on the gravel I fell to my knees. The tears burst from my eyes I held my self up with my hands crying. I heard the door close behind me I didn't move.

A arm wrapped around my waist pulling me up and back. Sam wrapped his arms around me pulling me to him closely, I nuzzled my head into his neck. The tears flowed freely as Sam rubbed my back stroking my hair trying to calm me down. Sam understood why I was so upset. All I ever wanted growing up was a normal family christmas, decorating a tree wrapping presents. A family dinner and everyone being happy, not fighting not killing.

Sam kissed my head rocking me as he walked me down. We heard the door open footsteps crunched across the gravel I was lifted up into the air onto my feet. Dean turned me to face him, I wiped my tears quickly. I always had trouble crying infront of Dean I hated him thinking I was weak.

"Alright heres the plan, Sam, Cas and you are taking the impala and going present shopping for a secret Santa or someshit. Sam will go one way and get some you and Cas another. The rest of us are going to finish setting up and find the decorations. Were going to have a big happy family christmas dinner" Dean said with a smile

"What about uncle bobby…" I added knowing I was pushing it

"We'll get Gabrielle on it" Dean added

I nodded giving him a big hug he hugged back tightly before separating. Sam lightly draped his arm over my shoulder taking the key's from Dean and we walked to the car.

"Wait wher-" I didn't get to finish my sentence Cas appeared beside us "Nevermind"

I handed Castiel back his trenchcoat, before snapping my own on. Sam raised a brow at me I smirked at him getting into the Impala. Cass appeared in the back seat, Sam started the car and we drove into town.

**{Chapter 9 is a christmas chapter,! don't forget to review lovleys!}**


End file.
